Augmented breasts, work-out clothes, and school drop-off

While we all appreciate the fact that when you invest in something, you want to show it off. But is school drop-off the appropriate time and place to be flashing your augmented breasts? Must you wear your leotard or your fitness pants or your hot-pink cami top when you take you 8-year-old daughter to school? Exactly who is the audience for such a show? The other mothers, who are perhaps more mature and don’t feel the need to compete with their daughters? The fathers, who are for the most part dressed in some professional attire and headed into the office? The kids?

And don’t tell us you are going to go workout immediately after dropping little Jane or little Johnny off at school. Even if you are, every gym has “state-of-the-art” locker-room facilities, saunas, showers, etc. You can and you should change there. But let’s be honest, the “I’m going to workout” excuse is really just a lie. We see you in the same offending outfit sitting at the local cafe, often with other moms who have similarly bad sartorial taste. You look like a collection of tarts hoping to turn a quick trick.

Do us all a favor. Grow up and act your age. You’re a mother, not a teenager. Perhaps your husband and his philandering friends enjoy looking at your heliotropic breasts, your liposuctioned thighs and ass, and your botoxed face, but the rest of us don’t.